Early this morning.

3:30 AM: Startled awake by the sound of a cat puking next to my head. Groan and turn on light. Watch cat puke on our bottom sheet. Will tries to remove him from the bed, but he starts puking again. We watch again. Leave to get paper towels to clean up the puke. Return to bedroom and start wiping up the puke.

Will: “Aren’t we just going to take the sheet off?”

Me: “Oh. Yeah, I guess that would be the smart thing to do.”

Head back to the kitchen to throw away used paper towels. Hear Will moan: “Oh my god.”

Return to bedroom to find that cat has also puked on the floor near the bottom of the bed. All over the jeans and socks that Will has left there. Not a drop of puke on the carpet. It’s all on the pants. And inside of the socks.

Will: “How did he manage to puke IN my socks?”

At this point, it is hard not to laugh. It’s now almost four in the morning and the cat puked in Will’s socks. In his socks.

We find more puke near the bedroom door. And a little bit more in the kitchen. What the hell? The cat went on a puking spree.

As all of this is happening, the cat is wandering around, kind of watching what we are doing, but also trying to find things to eat on the floor. I catch him walking out from behind the water heater, licking his mouth. He must have found a tasty dustball back there.

He returns to the bedroom and starts licking the dust off the top of the heater. We tell him to stop. He starts licking the wall.

Why does this cat like to lick up dust? This habit is probably what caused the puking spree in the first place.

We finally get a new sheet back on the bed and reorganize the top sheet and blankets. The cat is now wandering around meowing. He is hungry because he puked up his dinner.

I pick him up and put him on the bed. Turn off the light. He lays down between us and purrs. Then he starts licking the pillows. What a weirdo.

Me: “I can’t believe that he puked on your pants.”

Will: “I can’t believe he puked IN my socks!”

We giggle a bit and go back to sleep.

[I usually don't cross post, but whatever, for some reason I posted this over on Tumblr first. Tumblr is mostly favorites and reposts, but occasionally I do post something of my own. In case you were wondering.]