Sunday, April 28

The Impossible Class - First Polawalk

Some pictures of me and the kids in action taken by Will with his iPhone are over on the Tumblr!

Friday, April 26

List no. 11 :: Travel dreams.

  1. Dallas and/or Los Angeles for a Polawalk.
  2. New York City and The Impossible Project.
  3. Spain. Always dreaming of returning to Spain.
  4. The Northwest road trip. Drive to Seattle to Portland and then down the coast to San Francisco and then San Diego.
  5. Joshua Tree and The Harmony Motel in 29 Palms.
  6. The Salton Sea and Palm Springs.
  7. National Parks in Utah.
  8. New Orleans. Because I have never been there.
  9. England. So I can meet all my lovely Twitter friends who live in there.
  10. Pittsburgh. Always Pittsburgh.
  11. And honestly, right now I would take a night at the local Motel 6 so I could sleep through the wee hours of the morning without any disruptions caused by the cats.

Thursday, April 25

Tuesday, April 23


[Polaroid SLR680SE + PX680 Color Shade film, Holden edition]

Saturday, April 20

List no. 10 :: The week.

  1. It got cold again which is fairly normal for this time of year, but it's never much fun.
  2. Both cats are doing well.  Rocky is acting as normal as ever these days. 
  3. I love having Impossible Class. I started looking forward to the next one right after the first one. 
  4. Other than the class, I don't have a whole lot going on which makes me feel guilty at times.
  5. But I also really enjoy reading in the afternoon and having time to catch up on scanning photos.
  6. Still reading the Harry Potter series. I know what happens in all of them yet I still can't put them down once I get started.
  7. It amuses us to call the cats "Rocky Potter" and "Simon Potter" with a British accent.
  8. We're obviously amused far too easily.
  9. Although it was not such an amusing week outside of our own quiet house. I chose to be aware of the happenings but not spend my days absorbed in the repetitive news.
  10. I need to come up with some better list ideas.

Wednesday, April 17

The Impossible Class

[Polaroid SX-70 Model 2 + PX70 Cool film]

I'm teaching a class on Impossible film at a private school for the next six weeks. First class was yesterday. Read more about it over on my Tumblr where I'll be posting updates about the class and hopefully some of the kids' work. So much fun!

Sunday, April 14

List no. 9 :: Dreaming of...

  1. oceans and palm trees
  2. early morning runs on the beach
  3. listening to the waves hit the shore
  4. seagulls squawking
  5. watching the sunset while drinking cocktails on a patio
  6. road trips to the desert
  7. miles and miles of nothing but blue sky and stunning landscapes
  8. pulling over on the side of the road to take pictures 
  9. feeling free, nowhere to be and nothing to worry about

Saturday, April 13


[Polaroid Spectra + Polaroid Spectra Image film, expired 09/08]

Will was kind enough to be my model for the latest Words To Shoot By.

Tuesday, April 9


I've been avoiding writing this particular post. In part, I suppose, because sometimes one needs time to process things privately. But I believe the bigger reason is that I don't want what I am going to write about to be true.

The short version:

Three weeks ago, we found out that Rocky has a mass in his stomach. A tumor. We don't know what kind of tumor, but nonetheless, it is a tumor. At the time, it measured 6 centimeters. Which sounds awfully big to me. Too big to be in my sweet kitty's belly. Hell, too big to be in anyone's belly.

And I am already crying again.

As most of you know, Rocky means the world to me. He has been my best friend for 14 years and I cannot imagine life without him. He is my light and my joy. He is my cuddle bunny, my puppy, my sweets, my Rockster and my Rock Star. And we are so very devastated by this turn of events. I knew he would die eventually, just like I know I will die eventually. But the reality of hearing "a mass in his stomach" is just something else entirely. Life has not been the same since we found out.

We do not know how much time he has since we don't know the exact nature of the tumor, but when I asked the vet if we should be thinking weeks or months, she said, "Probably not months."

We are doing the best we can, but it has been a rough time for all of us. We are so grateful that we have this time with him and we are going to enjoy it as much as we possibly can. And make sure that he is comfortable and gets to do all of his favorite things as often as possible. And I pray, I pray that he doesn't suffer. That he doesn't have to go through too much discomfort and pain. That we will know when it is time to say good-bye.

The longer version:

Rocky had x-rays, an ultrasound and blood work done. The ultrasound led the vet to believe that the tumor is attached to the spleen. And she saw a lot of "free fluid" in there which basically means that he is having internal fluid loss. (Or something like that.) We could not have a biopsy done because she was worried that poking around the spleen, the bloodiest of organs, could cause him to bleed out. Our only other option is exploratory surgery and we decided that we do not want to put Rocky through such trauma. He is 14-years old and has a heart murmur so we could lose him during surgery. And they could cut him open and find him full of cancer and that wouldn't be much better. We feel that there is no reason to make him miserable. To be cut open. To have to recover from a major surgery when he is already on his way to death. We feel that the best thing for him is to be happy and comfortable for as long as he can. Enjoy his last days sunning in the backyard and rolling in the dirt, not recovering from surgery.

So we don't really know. We don't know if the tumor is cancer or not. Or what's really going on in there. But we know that whatever it is, it is not good. The blood work indicated that he is "clinically stable" for now.

We monitor him so much now, I am sure it drives him crazy. It drives us a little crazy. Wondering what every little thing means. Cats are champs at hiding pain so we have to stay aware of his behavior. And so far, it's pretty normal. So normal that some days, it's hard to believe that there is anything wrong with him.

But in the past week, he's had a few days of throwing up and stomach discomfort. This past Sunday, he looked so miserable, we worried all day long. But I called the vet yesterday and she said to give him PepcidAC twice a day. We gave him one in the afternoon, and boy, it made a huge difference. He perked up and he ate a little bit more. And today, he's acting pretty normal again. He's back to his regular food portions for the most part. And he's hanging out more again. We are so relieved.

I don't know what I am going to do without him. Thankfully, for today, he is still here with us.

Saturday, April 6

List no. 8 :: Things that make me happy. Right now.

  1. Spring finally seems to have arrived with warmer temperatures and budding trees.
  2. Two happy and napping kitties.
  3. My husband. My wonderful husband.
  4. Not falling down that black hole.
  5. Daily (mostly) emails with my friend Sheryl.
  6. Options. There are always options.
  7. Rereading Harry Potter books for the millionth time because I need a bit of magic in my life.
  8. The prospect of shooting instant film with Will later today.
  9. The love that can be found on Twitter from folks that I've never even met face to face.