Tuesday, March 26

List no. 7 :: Whatever

  1. The temperatures and the birds singing make it feel like spring is here, but there are very few signs of green or blossoming trees. That part makes me sad.
  2. I love that the birds are so entertaining for the cats. They can't catch them, but they love watching them. And watching them makes the cats have "fast head." Yep. Love it.
  3. Saying to me that "it was meant to be" or "it's God's will" or "these things just happen" does not bring me comfort. Might be true, but still, not comforting.
  4. Could everybody just stop going on about being mindful? That word is so overused right now and for some reason it annoys the hell out of me.
  5. Most everything that I want to write, I am not ready to write here.
  6. Or it is an angry statement that may or may not involve the word "fuck" and I probably should just keep it to myself.
  7. I'm tired of being disappointed which probably means I need to reassess my expectations.
  8. It's hard not to think there is something wrong with me because I keep failing miserably at so many things.
  9. But in my heart of hearts, I believe that I am a good person. I am kind. And considerate.
  10. And maybe I already have all that I need in my life.
  11. At least for now.
  12. I am well aware that I am not a good writer. It does not mean that I do not write from the heart.
  13. Rejection hurts. Period.
  14. It's okay to be sad. Even though being around someone who is sad seems to make most people uncomfortable.
  15. I really wish that people would just be honest. I am so tired of people saying things that they don't mean or don't plan on doing anyway.
  16. I am also aware that I kind of suck at this list thing, but I don't care. I'm still going to do it.
  17. I can tell you that I am very much looking forward to seeing two of my nieces on Friday.
  18. As for today, I am glad to be feeling the most normal that I have felt in a week. It's such a relief.

1 comment:

  1. When my mother passed away, it drove me up a wall to hear things like "it's god's will," or "it was meant to be" (it still does, really!). People mean well, but if something is out of their realm of experience, these are the only words they can offer. I hope you're doing okay, and always remember, when it feels like the world is far away, reach out like this - you're not alone. You're writing is strong because it is honest and true. Sending hugs.


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