Mirror, mirror.

[Polaroid Spectra + Softtone film]

Hotel Andaluz.

[View from the 8th floor]

[All photos taken with an iPhone 4 + various apps]

I think I fell in love with Hotel Andaluz the moment we stepped into the lobby. We were only there one night, but we were totally impressed with the place. We were given a corner room which was quite spacious and had a great view of the city of Albuquerque and the Sandia Mountains. 

Once we got to the room, it didn't take me long to start taking self-portraits in every mirror in the place. Something I just can't resist doing when we stay at hotels. That and the carpet with my feet thing. Hotel carpets are always so interesting to me; they are either geometrically fabulous or completely hideous.

This hotel was obviously thought out with incredible detail. Even the elevator was gorgeous. And the Moroccan-style lobby was pretty mind-blowing, scary clowns and all. We hope to go back one day and hang out in one of the casbahs.

I was dying to take instant shots in the lobby, but I knew there wasn't enough light for hand held shots and I would probably just end up wasting film. Perhaps next time I will lug a tripod along with me.

The hotel has a restaurant and a rooftop bar which, sadly, we did not check out as we were not there for celebratory purposes. It just  happened to be very near to the hospital that we needed to be at very early the next morning. We did eat at the restaurant and it was quite good.

We're so used to staying at the likes of Comfort Inns when we're on the road so it doesn't take much to impress us, but this place truly was amazing. We had a little snafu with the billing after the fact, but it eventually got sorted out so we do hope to visit Hotel Andaluz again and live it up a bit more.

And if you happen to be visiting Albuquerque, I highly recommend this place. You won't regret it. It's right downtown and only a few blocks away from the train station. It's also the first Hilton Hotel that was built in New Mexico by New Mexico native, Conrad Hilton. (His fourth hotel overall.) I have to admit that I didn't even know the Hiltons had roots in New Mexico! A little more history here, if you're interested.

***

[View from the High Line, NYC - Polaroid Spectra + PZ680 Color Protection film]

The year in running.

Is it really already January 10th?! Where does the time go? We haven't even been doing all that much, and the days sometimes seem to go on forever, but still, somehow, time passes so quickly.

I have posts to write. The New York trip. The ear surgery. The year in review, kind of. But I can't seem to get myself to do any of it. I'm not particularly motivated and focused right now. Not always the best place to be, but not the worst either. I'm learning to accept that there are times like these, when maybe I read or knit or watch movies all day instead of constantly taking care of business. (Or whatever you want to call it.) And the cold weather certainly doesn't help. I am not a big fan of low temperatures under 10 degrees.

But anyway, the year in running. I am really quite thrilled that I got so much running in last year. I ran almost 400 more miles than I did in 2011. And no, there's no point to this goal of running more, really, but it makes me feel good. (I mean, I am not training for a race or anything specific like that.) And I hope to continue on in a similar way this year. Not with even more miles but with about the same. And with more long distance running when it warms up again.

I think I am already behind since I've missed a few days this year and had some shorter than usual runs due to icy and freezing cold conditions. I guess it wasn't as cold last year? Or maybe I was tougher? I don't remember. But it's okay. While I am obsessive about running, it is not something I beat myself up about. If I have to miss a day, so be it.

At any rate, when I think that maybe I didn't accomplish much in 2012, I can whip out this chart and remind myself that it was an excellent running year for me.

Snowy view on the way to Chimayo.

[Polaroid Spectra + PZ680 Color Protection film]

The light in the late afternoon was so amazing on this day. I always love the drive to Chimayo, but I can't recall ever going out there during the winter so the views of the snow covered hills leadings up to the snow covered mountains really blew my mind. I had to make myself pay attention to the road instead of the magical scenery.

[Polaroid Spectra + PZ680 Color Protection film]

And this new PZ680 Color Protection film from the Impossible Project is my new favorite. The colors are so rich and lovely. If you haven't tried it yet, you definitely should!

Happy Holidays!

[Polaroid SX-70 Alpha 1 SE + PX70 Cool film]

Wishing you all wonderful holidays! Best wishes to you in the New Year. I think 2013 is going to be a good one! xo

Friends.

[Polaroid SLR680SE + PX680 Color Protection film]

[Polaroid SLR680SE + PX680 V4C Color Protection test film]

[Polaroid SLR680SE + PX680 V4C Color Protection test film]

[SX-70 w/ ND filter + PX680 Gold Frame film, 2011 edition]

Happy to be happy.

[Photo booth at Ace Hotel, NYC - 12/12/12]

Five good things.

1. Visiting The Impossible Project. 
2. New York bagels. 
3. New York pizza. 
4. Meeting up with an old friend that we haven't seen for 7 years. Realizing that he and I have been meeting for drinks at the Cowgirl Bar since 1992. Twenty years!
5. New t-shirts, new film, lots and lots of walking.

And here we are.

1. Today was totally manageable. I am surprised and not surprised and totally thrilled. 
2. The apartment in Chelsea is a great location, clean and comfortable. 
3. I can't believe we already went to Whole Foods. 
4. We had dinner at The Half King, a place we frequented when Will worked at the Gagosian. It was the perfect place to go. Familiar and a friendly staff. Not to mention that I had the best buffalo burger ever. So good. 
5. Getting on the plane was the hardest part for me. Once on, I was totally fine. AND I was able to take the window seat for the first time in forever. It made me feel like a kid. I was so excited about looking out the window. 
6. Being back in the City is exciting and strange. I've been coming here, and have lived here a few times, since I was 18. This is the first time I feel like a small town girl. Bright lights, big city. 
7. I am so looking forward to visiting The Impossible Project tomorrow. I hope I don't damage my pocketbook too much!
8. Also hoping to see an old friend from my NYU days. 
9. YAY!

Five good things.

1. Snow! And lots of it. We desperately need the moisture.
2. Still feeling anxious but it's not totally overwhelming. (I threw up this morning. That's a new one.)
3. Dinner with the folks.
4. We have the sweetest kitties ever. They make me smile.
5. Watching love birds snuggle in the trees.

Well, okay.

[Polaroid SLR680SE + PX680 Color Protection film, Pigeonhole edition]

This shot is my favorite of all the shots I took with the Pigeonhole edition film. It's the late afternoon view from the back of my parents' house.

After feeling quite calm for most of the past week, this morning I got up and almost immediately felt fear in the pit of my stomach. My heart is pounding and it feels like my blood is racing. Hello anxiety!

I guess there's a part of me that hopes I can get through this travel thing without feeling this way, but based on this morning, I don't know if that's going to happen. There is a little voice in my head that is saying: "Don't go! You're going to freak out! Just cancel the whole thing! Who cares?!"

And it's true, probably nobody would care. Except me. I think I would feel pretty lame. And embarrassed. Not to mention it wouldn't be very fair to my husband. (Although I suppose he could just go without me!)

Besides, I am always going to have this fear if I don't try to work through it. And eventually it might become a limiting thing. There are a lot of places we can't go unless we fly. I've manage to do other things that I was afraid to do, but they seem like such little things compared to this. And it's so weird really, I mean, I have no clue why this flying anxiety even started. When I was younger, I loved to fly. And then after awhile, I didn't love it so much, but it also wasn't such a huge deal. It was sometime in my early to mid-30's that this started. And as far as I can recall, nothing actually happened to make it start. The last two times that we flew places, I was nervous, but I survived. So there's no concrete reason for me to think that I won't survive this time as well.

But man, it's uncomfortable feeling this way. And I don't like feeling this way. But this is how I feel right now and I need to just feel it, I guess. Fighting it won't help.

Today I just need to breathe and get through it. Today I am not getting on an airplane. I am home and I am safe and it's okay to feel afraid and to let my body feel afraid. I don't need to judge myself for it. And I have to remember that in order to grow, we often have to push through fears and feel uncomfortable. I have to ask myself, "Do I really wanted to be grounded for the rest of my life?" And that answer is no.

Happiness is...

friends, sunshine, long walks, purple panda curtains, sweet dogs, Christmas Snoopy, stars, postcards from friends, reflections, and warm hugs.

Five good things.

1. A long walk with friends before work.
2. The PX680 Color Protected film from Impossible Project continues to blow my mind. Blow. my. mind.
3. So many good vibes from our house guests. Seriously. Feels weird to feel this calm. In a good way.
4. Snow? Really?! Okay, I welcome the moisture.
5. Dinner out with my man. Just the two of us.

Things to do today.

[Polaroid SX-70 Alpha 1 SE + PX70 Cool film]

1. Get flower pins/clips together to take to gallery. (Already done!)
2. Get packages ready for the post office. (Already done!)
3. Scan photo of Rocky. (Already done!)
4. Hang out with friends for a bit.
5. Go to work. (Boo!)

Five good things.

1. Blogging from bed with a kitty snuggled up next to me. 
2. Friends visiting who are so full of love and goodness. 
3. A lovely dinner out and the smart decision not to drink more. 
4. Photos taken of friends. 
5. Hugs before bed from friends. 

Feeling so peaceful and content right now!

Things to do today.

I imagine these lists are rather boring, but I wanted to get in the habit of blogging again and also create some kind of focus for myself. I think the to do lists have actually helped me get things done! I write paper lists as well, but sometimes they get out of control so just focusing on one day at time here, well, it seems to help.

But today, I have nothing for you. The usual morning run, yes, but then I have no idea. We have one house guest leaving. Two more arrived late last night and I don't know if they are staying today or heading back out on the road. So until I find out about that, there are no plans for the day.

Not necessarily a bad thing!

Five good things.

1. Wrote letters. Two of them!
2. Sweet, handsome kitty cats.
3. Turkey soup with crusty bread.
4. A mellow, relaxing day but still productive.
5. Blue sky and sunshine.

Things to do today.

[Polaroid SLR680SE + Pigeonhole PX680 Color Protection film]

I'm a bit stumped about my to do list today. I thought we were going to have more company today so I busted out everything I needed/wanted to get done on Monday and Tuesday. So now I have a free day ahead of me. It's a bit too early to start on my packing/vacation lists. I feel like there is something terribly important that I need to do, but I have no idea what it is! Today's list is more like a list of options as opposed to stuff that I have to get done. (Except the run. I will definitely be doing that.)

1. Run (still not getting out early enough, but oh well)
2. Write in my journal
3. Write a letter
4. Hand wash some delicate things
5. Take some photos
6. Knit
7. Relax and enjoy the day!

Five good things.

1. Finished sewing flowers.
2. Scanned!
3. Chile rellenos at Maria's for dinner. So good.
4. Checked everything off my to do list for today.
5. Sunshine. Never tire of the sunshine.