Tuesday, November 6

This and that.

[Polaroid Spectra + expired PZ680 film]

Will has been flipping back and forth between ESPN, NFL Network and CNN all day. It's starting to making me a little nuts, but I do want to hear the election news.

For the record, we early voted last week.

We're both sick right now, although lucky for me, mine just seems to be a basic cold. Will got sick last week and it's still pretty bad so he went to the doctor this morning and got some medicine. Hopefully it works as we are traveling next week and hacking up his lungs on an airplane...not so good. I feel pretty good but for a runny nose and occasional cough. Crossing my fingers it doesn't get worse.

I've been meaning to do a whole post on our trip to NYC, but I haven't gotten it together yet. Suffice it to say that I am very excited but also feeling anxiety about it. Having travel anxiety is nothing to brag about and I know many people deal with it. I'm grateful that over the past year or so, I have learned to deal with anxiety in better ways and that it doesn't immobilize me as much as it used to. But flying is something I haven't done in awhile and I'm not sure what to expect from myself. Might be totally fine. Might have to make use of that valium that I rarely take. Either way, I'm getting my ass to NYC, goddamn it! Enough of this whole "grounding" myself because of my fears. (Grounding is a word Kristen uses and that struck me when I read her post about her own flying issues.)

That said, my grounding of 4 years or so hasn't actually made me miss out on anything. Or at least I don't think it has. We've taken all the trips that we've wanted/needed to take, they've just been slightly longer trips because we drive. But we love road trips so that's not necessarily a bad thing. And I hope we still get to take road trips across the country. But it's time to fly again too. It's time for a different sort of adventure.

Two weeks ago I finally went in for the mammogram that I've been putting off for way too long. I was pleasantly surprised to find that it went quickly and wasn't much of a bother at all. So yay! Done! Until I got a message a few days later telling me that I needed to go back in for more tests.


I was not expecting that at all so it totally freaked me out. No matter that the technician had told me that women often get called back in, particularly after a first mammogram. They have nothing to compare a first mammogram to so they have to be thorough about getting to know the breasts. Or something like that. At any rate, the whole thing sent Will and I into a bit of a panic. No matter how much you tell yourself that it's probably all fine, it's hard to not think scary thoughts as well. Plus we have Will's ear surgery coming up (another post I have yet to write) and we just don't need anymore shit, you know?

And the waiting. Good grief.

I went in this past Thursday for another mammogram and an ultrasound. Again, it went quickly and everyone was very nice. And, PHEW, everything is fine. We were so relieved.

I've been working at the gallery a lot as well which is good because we need the money, but now that the busy season in Santa Fe is going into a bit of a lull, working is more of a drag. I like being busy. I do not like spending hours with not much going on. I've never liked that about any job. The down time. 

All of these things, the working, the anxiety, the sickness, have made me very unfocused and it's starting to make me crazy. I need to focus. I need to get things together for our trip. (Totally not a pack the night before kind of person.) And I need to DO things besides space out on the computer. So today, after running errands and eating lunch, I pulled out the Impossible Project's Lift It! Kit and tried my hand at emulsion lifts. It took some patience, but I finally had some success and it felt good to do something creative.

Oh and I bought a Kindle Reader. And a puffy jacket. I am so ready for that airplane!

1 comment:

  1. Hurray for puffy jackets!

    I'm glad that your mammogram test results were fine. Definitely a bit of a scary situation. I know I would have worked myself into a tizzy and then broken down crying.

    Perhaps you will feel more focused after your trip, I feel a bit more focused and driven after our trip to Rome. PS. I sent you a postcard, did it get there yet?


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