Wednesday, May 2

A list.


I've been missing this little space of mine. I want to find my way back to blogging regularly, but I don't even know where to begin. I never intended to take a break; it just sort of happened. And while there is plenty going on in my head, I feel like I don't actually have much to say.

So, here's a random list. Just because.

- Shopping at Trader Joe's makes me crazy, but I've started going there about once a week to buy fresh cut flowers, Munster cheese and tomatoes. I love having flowers in the kitchen and they are so much cheaper at TJ's than at Whole Foods.

- The fresh cut flowers have led to a lot of flower photos. A LOT. Not that this is anything new, but there for awhile I was able to resist the urge. But then the ranunculus arrived and the Gerber daisies and I went a little crazy.

- Too crazy, maybe. I have now cut myself off from flower pictures on instant film until I have flowers in the outside garden. I love flowers on instant film, but sometimes I end up feeling like I am "wasting film" or that I am just damn boring by always photographing the same thing. Really I should probably just give myself a break and shoot whatever the hell I want.

- I've been beating myself up a lot lately. It's not helpful at all, but I seem to have forgotten how to be compassionate with myself.

- I love taking instant photos, and doing so typically cheers me up. But I worry that my photographs don't mean anything. Like they're just empty and that's why they don't pull people in. They don't evoke anything in other people. And let's face it, the flower photos are pretty, but beyond that, I am not even sure what they mean to me. I guess it's just something I do and oftentimes they are an experiment in light and color, especially with the new films from The Impossible Project.

- Sometimes I worry that I am just empty.

- I can't believe it is already May. This month brings our 8th wedding anniversary, Will's birthday, my youngest niece's high school graduation, and probably some things that I don't know about yet.

- I don't think there is going to be any traveling this summer which makes me rather sad, but we just don't have the funds. Hoping to at least take a few little day trips.

- Gardening season is full on now. In fact, that's what I am doing today. I hope to get the front bed planted and finish the small beds in the back. Next week I'll get the vegetables planted. And my zinnia seeds.

- Really focused on running right now. I've always been addicted to it, but now I'm in super addiction mode. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but I do need to be careful that I don't injure myself. I take one day of rest and one day of cross training (biking or walking).

- Just trying to get through each day. Take care of the little things, work on the bigger things...but I really don't know where my life is headed right now and it's a bit terrifying.

- I keep telling myself that things will work out, one way or another.


  1. things will work out! I know it!
    it's nice to read your words again. I've been thinking a lot lately about how facebook/twitter has reduced all communication to 140 words or less. I don't like it. I want to write a letter to you. I miss you.

  2. Things will work out - and in the meantime, you find comfort in the things that make you happy. (also, happy anniversary!)


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