On going back to Pittsburgh.

I still haven't gotten all my film developed from our trip east last September and here we are getting ready to head back to Pittsburgh in a few weeks! I'm quite excited about the trip. Excited to be on the road again. Excited to see so many good friends again. Excited to be back in Pittsburgh, a city that is forever full of wonders to me.

I've been agonizing over what cameras to take along. I feel like I always take too many and then spend too much time trying to decide what camera to use. I also end up with too many of the same photos taken with different cameras and film. That can be interesting (to me, at least), but I want to approach things differently this time. Take less and shoot more. Of course sometimes I just get caught up in being there instead of having half of my focus on what might make a fabulous photo. I think that is important as well.

But this is a year that I really want things - some things, all things, I don't know - to be different. Maybe not hugely different, but a little different. And I have to admit that not a lot of change has happened thus far, but there has been some progress in certain areas. Baby steps of change. And it gives me hope.

So I would like my approach to photography to be different on this trip. Maybe try to be less self-conscious about what I am doing. Maybe actually make a plan of some places that I want to go to take photographs. Maybe focus on using one or two cameras instead of five. And I would really like to take some portraits of our friends (on instant film) even though I am not great at taking portraits these days.

And perhaps I should not reveal all here, perhaps it is putting too much expectation on myself, but I would like this trip to be different in other ways as well. I hope that I can let go and truly have a blast. Not worry so much about sleep and schedules and all the anxieties that often get in my way of having fun. (But still take care of myself; there's got to be a balance, right?) I want to laugh and smile and let myself out. I feel so trapped here in Santa Fe sometimes.

But no matter what happens, I imagine it will be a good trip. And it will also be okay if I have to feel anxious about some things. That's how I roll and denying it only makes it worse. One thing I constantly have to remind myself: be compassionate with myself as well as others. Because constantly being hard on myself, reprimanding myself or feeling bad about who I am or how I react to things, isn't particularly helpful.

Anyway...here a a few shots from our last trip taken with my Lomo LC-A + Kodak Gold 400 film.


Gorgeous, giant zinnias in the Larimer Community Garden.


Steeple + sky.


The view from the third floor of the Mayflower house.


The Mayflower house!


The church down the street from the Mayflower house.


Peeping alien!