Monday, February 6

On going back to Pittsburgh.

I still haven't gotten all my film developed from our trip east last September and here we are getting ready to head back to Pittsburgh in a few weeks! I'm quite excited about the trip. Excited to be on the road again. Excited to see so many good friends again. Excited to be back in Pittsburgh, a city that is forever full of wonders to me.

I've been agonizing over what cameras to take along. I feel like I always take too many and then spend too much time trying to decide what camera to use. I also end up with too many of the same photos taken with different cameras and film. That can be interesting (to me, at least), but I want to approach things differently this time. Take less and shoot more. Of course sometimes I just get caught up in being there instead of having half of my focus on what might make a fabulous photo. I think that is important as well.

But this is a year that I really want things - some things, all things, I don't know - to be different. Maybe not hugely different, but a little different. And I have to admit that not a lot of change has happened thus far, but there has been some progress in certain areas. Baby steps of change. And it gives me hope.

So I would like my approach to photography to be different on this trip. Maybe try to be less self-conscious about what I am doing. Maybe actually make a plan of some places that I want to go to take photographs. Maybe focus on using one or two cameras instead of five. And I would really like to take some portraits of our friends (on instant film) even though I am not great at taking portraits these days.

And perhaps I should not reveal all here, perhaps it is putting too much expectation on myself, but I would like this trip to be different in other ways as well. I hope that I can let go and truly have a blast. Not worry so much about sleep and schedules and all the anxieties that often get in my way of having fun. (But still take care of myself; there's got to be a balance, right?) I want to laugh and smile and let myself out. I feel so trapped here in Santa Fe sometimes.

But no matter what happens, I imagine it will be a good trip. And it will also be okay if I have to feel anxious about some things. That's how I roll and denying it only makes it worse. One thing I constantly have to remind myself: be compassionate with myself as well as others. Because constantly being hard on myself, reprimanding myself or feeling bad about who I am or how I react to things, isn't particularly helpful. a a few shots from our last trip taken with my Lomo LC-A + Kodak Gold 400 film.

Gorgeous, giant zinnias in the Larimer Community Garden.

Steeple + sky.

View from the attic.
The view from the third floor of the Mayflower house.

The Mayflower house!

The church down the street from the Mayflower house.

Peeping alien!


  1. Being kind to yourself is always important. It's something I strive to work on as well. I've been trying to take less camera's with me when I go places as well. I try and think about what I want to photograph and what film/medium I feel best about shooting it with. Also, trying to be realistic about how much time I'll have. It's tough. Sometimes, I just want to take them all!

  2. I know what you mean about taking cameras on trips - that's why I limit myself to one pack of film and the digital helps! Remember that this time in Pittsburgh is your vacation, and on vacation, you can do whatever your heart desires because that's what time away is for (and one of the biggest reasons I love to travel - it's so freeing).

    Your lomo photos are beautiful, so sneak that camera into your purse too!


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