It's really hard to start blogging again when it's been so long. I don't even know where to start, really, since I never intended to stop. I have thought of writing many times, but when I come to this page, one of the last entries is the entry about Rocky's death and that always throws me off. While 2013 held many good things for me, the death of my beloved kitty ultimately overshadows it all. I still miss him every single day and the grief continues to be overwhelming at times. His death changed all of us in a way. Simon wasn't himself for months. He didn't eat for awhile and lost weight. We were so terrified that we were going to lose him too. He is better now, but he is a changed cat. He stays in most of the time. He doesn't roll in the dirt anymore. At all. (And that used to be a daily activity for him.) He is even more vocal than he used to be. And sometimes, if we are out too long, he waits for us in the window, crying. We all cling to each other in different ways. We are a family of three now, and it will stay that way for the time being. As much as I love the idea of a new kitten, I am not ready to give my heart to another cat.
I don't know what this year will hold for me and that's okay. I am volunteering two days a week at the Georgia O'Keeffe Research Center and I think that it is a step in a new direction for me. I hope that this year holds more travel for us, but our finances might not allow that to happen. And I continue to hope that I will make lasting and deeper connections with a few people, online or off.
Today I am feeling optimistic, but still have to remind myself not to dwell in the negative. I need to see my life as a glass half full, not half empty. My tendency is to focus on what I don't have instead of what I have and it is a hard habit to break, but it is something I will continue to work on.
I also plan to listen to more hip hop this year, because for some reason, that genre is the missing gap in my musical taste and education.
As per usual for me, this post is all over the place, but I have to start somewhere. And this is that start.
Happy New Year and best wishes to you all! xo